To bee or not to bee
by Aria-Mae
Summary: What happens when Sam reflects on her past? Please Review
1. Realisation sucks

Sam lay in between her sheets which lay on her double bed, in her empty apartment. It was silent. She lay, looking out her bedroom window; thinking about him. It was her day off and he was at work, she knew that, but she wished that she could see him. Ever since she had gotten back from Afghanistan she had this notion that they belonged together. During the fire she had though of losing him and her life without him and now as she lay in her bed alone; she though of him and the time they spent together.

Flashback

"Sam! Samantha you stay away from that tree" Dylan warned and forcefully shouted to his wife as she approached the tree in their back garden.

"Dylan it's only a Beehive." Sam sighed as she stood underneath the tree unwilling to move. Which she knew irritated her husband.

"Sam," Dylan sighed knowing how stubborn his wife was. "You're allergic to bees, one stink and you shall need to be rushed to hospital."

"I know Dylan, I'm not stupid!" Sam angrily retorted back to her husband.

He cared then.

Sam was suddenly brought back into reality when she noticed a bee buzz past her window. It was unusual for bees to be out in such cold weather. Sam stood from her bed and approached the window slowly. However as she was about to open it her phone began to ring and echo throughout the apartment. She let it ring, she didn't want to move, she was numb as single tears streamed down her face; getting heavier and heavier by the second. Why did life have to be this way?

Sam heard the woman on the answering machine speak…Please leave a message after the tone. Beep… hello Dr. Nicholls, Sam, its Mr. Jordan from the E.D.

Sam sighed she knew what was coming

I know it's your day off but we are shorted staff, so as soon as you get this message if you could call me back… bye.

Sam sighed; she knew from the beginning she wasn't going to get a peaceful lie in bed, if it wasn't Dylan on her mind it was either work or the terrors of Afghanistan which haunted her. Today was not going to be a good day for her.

Sam slowly got dressed knowing that she would have to go into work; this meant that she would have to face Dylan. She hated to be called into work on her day off; to spend the day in the company of her husband who didn't love her and watch him flirt with another woman. It broke her heart.

Sam was about ready. She was washed and dressed, had her bag, she was ready for the big and busy E.D. that was until she realised the date. Matthews Birthday. How could she have forgotten?

Sam walked into the E.D numb; how could she have forgotten her own God sons Birthday. It wasn't like she never seen him or anything; actually now she thought about it she hadn't seen Matthew since before she had left for her first tour of Afghanistan. Which when she though about it was two almost three years ago. She wondered what he was like now. Not like she would ever find out, he was Dylan's nephew.

Flashback

Dylan brushed past Matthew as he clambered up the steps and entered the kitchen leaving Matthew, Sam and the bees out in the garden.

"Sam, must you annoy him?" the teenager asked from the steps as he watched his aunt stand under the beehive.

"Matt, dear, dear Matty, have you not learnt by now? I love to annoy your uncle. It amuses me." Sam stated with a grin on her face as she now approached the boy.

"I know you do Auntie Sam, but don't you ever feel guilty when you see that look of horror across his face." Matthew asked as he gazed upon his aunt awaiting an answer.

"Well, when you put it like that…" Sam paused thinking how to accumulate her sentence "When he does that you know he cares," Sam paused again not knowing how to say exactly what she was meaning. She didn't want to worry the poor boy with her relationship problems. "Well Matthew, it's the only facial expression your uncle has which tells me that he is still truly in love with me." Sam replied sadly. She brushed past Matthew and made her way into the kitchen were Dylan was the room was silent. She sighed, left the room and headed upstairs.


	2. Today was going to be fun

Busy, didn't even cover how overcrowded E.D. was when Sam entered reception from the staff room. It was Chaotic, as people budged past her on the way to yell at Noel. The poor receptionist he didn't deserve that.

However Sam continued into CDU attempting to find Dylan to tell him to wish Matthew a Happy Birthday from her. She knew they would have a meal tonight, like every other year on his birthday, and once again she knew she wouldn't be invited, why would she be? She and Dylan were no longer together. Instead Zoe would go and play happy families. She wondered what Matt thought of Zoe, considering Zoe was the complete opposite to herself. Sam couldn't help but reflect on how well her and Matty had always gotten on so well, winding up Dylan.

As Sam approached Dylan who was at the desk in CDU the red emergency phone when off, she got there first, just before him, he gruffly sighed at her as if to say I was going to get that. Sam listened intensively as the voice talked; all the while looking straight at Dylan and all the while Dylan held her gaze.

She put down the phone abruptly.

"Anything good?" Dylan asked attempting to engage her in a conversation.

"Not really…" she hesitantly replied and walked away before anything else could be said. Because she knew, if Dylan had seen the fear in her eyes or heard the tremble in her voice, he wouldn't have let her go…

And he needed to let her go, he had Zoe now. She was now nothing more in his life than an inconvenience. The sooner she was out of his life the better.

Flashback

"Samantha, you mustn't itch it or else it will scar!" Dylan scolded his wife for the billionth time. The likelihood of getting chicken pox's twice was uncommon however his wife had somehow managed it.

"Dylan…" Sam whined "it's really itchy" she whimpered

And she saw that look in his face yet again, the one that told her he loved her.

Yet she couldn't stop itching, because the pain she was experiencing was nothing compared to the pain she was putting him through and for the reason alone she would never forgive her self for hurting him and cheating on him because after that he was still their for her. For better for worst. Through sickness and in health.

Maybe that's why she took all the risks she did, not to see if he loved her; but to get out of his life and to stop hurting him, as she knew she hurt him ever time. When she closed her eyes she can still see that broken hearted man she left all those years ago. He deserved better than her and now he had Zoe. And today with any luck she would disappear from Dylan's life for good.

She looked at the green post-it note where she wrote down the information from the emergency call. Bee hives disturbed, local estate, multiple causalities. Today was going to be fun.


	3. The House of reminiscence

The estate was on the outskirts of Holby, approximately two and a half miles out which is the equivalent to about eight minutes in the doctor's car, which doesn't abide by the speed limits. So to normally get to this estate it would take about fifteen minutes depending on traffic.

The houses are all well built, made from fine stone and look identical, like the show homes they show on television. The type where 'normal' families would live. The idealist ones with a mum, a dad, two kids and a family dog. However the houses are and placed in a formation of an oval. In the middle of the oval there is a children's play park which is deserted and looks worn from over use and graffiti, the park shows the type of people who socialise here. Teenagers and yobs, not young children.

This place, she had been here once, a long time ago, it was where she first met the real Dr. Keogh.

Flashback

"No output! Dylan focus" She Screamed

"Dr. Nicholls!" Dylan screamed back through tears

Beep….. The machine made to finally say they had lost their patient.

A six year old boy involved in an RTC.

She sat crying in the staff room and so did he. Both not wanting to face the young boy's anxious mother, who had arrived after receiving the call; both her husband and son were in hospital.

Suddenly the tears stopped as her mentor up his arms around her and whispered soothing words into her ear. She allowed him to calm her down and rock her gently in his arms. She had been a dream state as they made their way out of the hospital and towards his car; he drove for what seemed like hours. He actually had driven for hours with her in the car; she was uncertain of their destination, but didn't mind she felt safe for once in her life.

They arrived outside a house it looked nice and homely, the complete opposite to the famous Dr. Keogh, yet he got out the car and walk steadily to the front door. She tagged behind not wanting to intrude in her mentor's private life, even though he had brought her here.

He reached for the door handle and pushed down. The door opened and revealed a small boy of five or six with sandy blonde hair and sparkling eyes. The child let out a high pitch squeal and leaped into Dylan's arms. Matthew.

Sam was brought back into reality by the paramedics greeting her. They stood outside; they had to wait for the exterminators and the fire department to show up before they could go in to the back garden treat the injured. Much to the paramedics annoyance, yet Sam was glad in a sense, since bees scared her, yet she wanted to get into the back garden to ensure the residents safety, because in Sam's mind she thought of the little boy she met at this house that day almost eleven years ago and it was the fear for his safety that made Sam want to risk her life.

Apparently a family of three lived within the house a woman and two boys. Apparently the two boys were within the yard and their was no mention or knowledge on the whereabouts of the woman. Apparently a grass cutter had disturbed the nest of bees, that's what the Neighbours said as they vacated their houses and evacuated the area.

The exterminators arrived minutes later and started to hand out safety wear, just as

The screams of pain reached them and shook Sam to the core. She had almost all of her safety suit on and ran into the house that she had been invited into almost eleven years ago, in search of someone from her past and to have something to live for, saving the innocent. She had to make everything right again.

Racing in the back garden and everything seemed to go into slow motion for Sam. She was panting and all sweaty from the rush of adrenaline which pierced through her bones. The first casualty, a small child about seven lay breathless on the floor as the bees hovered around him. There was another casualty across the garden next to the shed; he looked older, late teens from what she could tell from where she was treating the small boy.

The noise was unbelievable from the constant buzz from the bees to people shouting at one another, she couldn't think straight the boy was in agony, yet no one would listen to her. "Is he allergic to this? Can he have this?" It seemed as though Sam's voice got lost in the wind. It was then she knew that the best chance this boy had of surviving was if she protected his face as the boy would panic frantically if a bee came near it and this caused his breathing to become rapid and panicky. She knew she had to calm him down, it was then she took off her mask which protected her from the bees and it was then when she had heard her colleagues gasp and shout and it was then when her world went black and her head hit the floor.


	4. Losing you

Waking up in a hospital room was not what Sam had expected. But what shocked her the most was that she woke to find her estrange husband holding her hand with tears streaming down his face.

Whimpers escaped his mouth as he attempted to speak. She soothed him by shushing him. He moved from the chair he was sat on next to Sam onto the bed and snuggled into her side, just like when they were married. Eventually his tears stopped and he took her in his arms and held her tight.

"Sam, you scared me half to death." Dylan whispered afraid of the world hearing his emotions. "I, I …"

"It's ok Dylan; I'm ok." Sam attempted to comfort him.

"But, you could have died!" He wailed clinging to Sam

"I didn't though"

"No you didn't"

"Lucky you were here, you told them about my epi-pen and the allergy"

"You went into anaphylactic shock, I thought I had lost you gain"

Sam looked him in the eye "You shall never lose me" she cleared her throat "So how's Matthew? "

"Nothing serious, thankfully; he's going to be discharged soon, he said he was going to pop up before he left to see how you were; he misses you, you know."

"I miss him; actually I miss the good old days."

"Me to Sam, me to"

And with that said he got up and left.

All the while she screamed for him to come back; as she now knew she couldn't live without him in her life.

But what she hadn't realised; that it was in that moment Dylan had realised it to.

And if Dylan had anything to do with it he would ensure that they would never have to be apart again; he just needed to sort some things out first.


	5. Contemplation in a corridor

Hi, sorry it has been so long, but I have had exams to revise for so updates may not be as frequent because I write my fan fiction as I go. Would like to thank everyone who has alerted, favoured and reviewed this story and would like to disclaim that I do not own any of the casualty characters but I do own the plot and the character Matty and I would like to thank my sister for being allergic to bees and helping with all the medical knowledge which I then didn't use in this fan fiction. So let's begin

Dylan paced the corridor outside his estranged wife's hospital room. If he had known what today's events were going to change his life, well he would have laughed to think that just a mere 24 hours ago he was bickering with the wife he barley talked to, now he was plucking up the courage to ask her out on a date. Dylan felt foolish, childish almost to think he was going to ask his wife out on a date and he was nervous, he laughed it was like when he was her mentor all over again, he was scared of her reactions then to.

He had dumped Zoe on a wimp, but what if Sam didn't want Dylan in a romantic way, she said she missed the good old days but maybe it was just side effects from the medication making her say it; Dylan was in a right pickle as he paced but he knew what he had to do. He entered the room.

:O cliff-hanger sorry I have seriously realised how short this is but still better something rather than nothing and I think the next update shall be my last for this story unless I create another cliff-hanger which could be possible with my other exams looming. Please review and tell me what you think

Aria


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